- some bitch: omg you wore that shirt the other day
- me: yeah well in my house we have this amazing thing called a washing machine
- Plot Twist: You meet someone.
- Bigger Plot Twist: You meet someone who has read all the same books as you and is obsessed with all the same stuff.
- Even Bigger Plot Twist: They are of your preferred gender and find you attractive, then ask you out.
- The Biggest Plot Twist Of Them All: They live in the same city as you.
- The Plot Twist of All Plot Twists: They Exist
Plot twist: Only tumblr users survive the apocalypse because we were too lazy to go outside to see what was going on.
Second plot twist: We don’t realize everyone else is gone until we run out of food. We don’t really care until all the Nutella is gone.
Third plot twist: We finally all meet up because we have to repopulate the world.
Fourth plot twist: Everyone on tumblr actually gets laid.
one of the worst moments in life is probably when you’re in a room full of people and you look around and see them all talking and laughing and all of sudden you feel so sad and lonely that you can even feel a physical pain in your chest because you realize that they all belong to someone and they all have someone who belongs to them and you don’t, you’re just kind of there